I can’t be sure, but I think the Spice Girls is playing in the cafeteria.
I finally got to click on the order for “scrotal sling”.
Also, checkout on this patient includes daily scrotal updates.
Fun Fact: Daily Scrotal Updates was the original pitch name for snapchat.
+1000 internets to you, sir or madam, for your hilarious replies.
I think the one I get the most is “I got sick because I went out in the cold” or “I got sick because I got my hair wet in the cold”. It’s insane how much I hear those.
Ever heard of germs? And viruses?
Cold, please. Like maybe if I stand in front of my open freezer door I’ll catch pneumonia.
My other favorite is “I don’t have allergies. It’s just sinuses.”
Um, no. It’s allergies.
You don’t have chronic sinusitis. You do have a pollen allergy. Ever notice how your “sinuses” flares up in the spring and fall? Pollen.
Take a dang Zyrtec. Good grief.
Newly diagnosed cancer patient with very poor prognosis in the ICU, to me on my morning rounds
one of us is gonna have to change
I just tried to toast something in the cafeteria when I realized… I didn’t know how to use the toaster. It’s like some sort of industrial toaster with a little conveyor belt and it doesn’t appear to turn off. How am I supposed to put it in without burning myself? Where does the belt go and how do I retrieve my bagel?
Not worth it.
The Moth PitWow ok this got so many notes so fast
david duchovny doesn’t know what frogs are
*turns on adorable animal feeds and gives you soft pillows and blankets*
I love my job
I lost my job
Types of people who romanticize small town life:
- People who didn’t grow up in small towns
#THE LOCALS AREN’T QUIRKY#THEY’RE RACIST
#THERE’S NOTHING TO DO
#EVERYONE’S ON DRUGS